no, he came in my armpit
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
