Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
