If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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