why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
