I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need a hoe opinion
go on
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize