I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
