I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
