he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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