can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
