Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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