It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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