the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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