remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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