you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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