Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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