booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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