I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
