And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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