I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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