That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
