I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
