i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
