Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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