Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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