i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
