There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
