Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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