U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
