Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
