I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
