dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize