I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
