that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
