there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
