wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i was born a porn star she said
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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