Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize