apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize