I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
