Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
