I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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