Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
