whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
