Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
