If i come over, it means nothing
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
