Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
