she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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