i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
