I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
