the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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