are you still at the devil's house?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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