that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
