these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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