So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i love accidental penises.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
