i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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