4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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