im six kinds of drunk right now
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
