the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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