Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
