Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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