We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
