No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
