i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
