How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
