You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
