Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
