She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
smell my finger.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
